How do I get a congressional medal of honor for my service?

I was in the army for 2 weeks(11b) and I was given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about 2 felony convictions I had in another state, history of cocaine abuse, and assaulting an Officer.



I want want a CMH because my lying about stuff was only so I could serve my country, how do I get my DD upgraded to Honorable, with a Congressional Medal of Honor attached for my troubles?How do I get a congressional medal of honor for my service?
YOU DON'T GET AN A+ YOU GET A AAA+.



The first A for your first question...excellent line by the way....without having to pay for the full hour, excellent.



The Flamethrower bit would have been better if you mentioned Rent a Cops, but still worth an A in here.



Of course this little bit of military jab....next time be an 11x, that's what the FNG pukes are while in training.



Had you been around and "in" while Carter was in office you would have lots more material.



Guy told me an old Cid Caesar routine. A guy in a small car almost hits this big mother in a crosswalk. The big guy asks if the driver remembers being born. He says no. The big guy puts his big arm thru the little wind wing and starts pulling him out asking "does this remind of it at all?"
and who says stupidity isn't funny?How do I get a congressional medal of honor for my service?
Check with Bush. He tried this.
The user name explains it all.How do I get a congressional medal of honor for my service?
I think you might have done too many drugs.
I can see the Commendation now...."For wanking above and beyond the call of duty...and nature."
I found myself laughing within the first7 words, thanks for the laugh because anyone in their right mind knows you can't be serious.
Hahaha u would probably sell the medal for a crack rock!! Ur an idiot!
Is that you, Erudite?